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Friday, April 01, 2011

Queen is mum on Archbishop's whereabouts


According to a source that wishes to remain anonymous the Queen called the Archbishop of Canterbury to Buckingham Palace for a late night audience to express her extreme displeasure at recent developments in the Church of England and the Anglican Communion. His Grace was heard mumbling profuse apologies. But Her Majesty was not mollified. Our source swears that Her Majesty was heard to say "Traitor's Gate," "Tower," and "block," and the Archbishop was seen groveling at her feet. What happened next our source was not certain. Several large gentlemen dressed in traditional Beafeaters' costumes and an one gentleman dressed in black and wearing a black hood stepped from behind a curtain and blocked his view of Her Majesty and the Archbishop. Our source heard the sound of a scuffle and a piercing shriek. When they had disappeared behind the curtain again, the Archbishop was gone! The Queen looked rather pleased with herself and was calling for tea.

A call to the Lambeth Palace revealed that the Archbishop had been called away suddenly--a sick great aunt in Wales. His staff was expecting his return in a day or two.

Buckingham Palace did not return our call.

UPDATE: Buckingham Palace announced today that the Archbishop of York, the Very Revd. Dr. John Sentamu, will be officiating at the upcoming wedding of Prince William. The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Very Revd. Dr. Rowan Williams, discovered that he has a previous commitment on his calendar, and will not be able to officiate as planned.

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