How to Receive Criticism and Respond With Grace

Note from Randy Alcorn: When I receive critical comments online or in response to my books, and when someone talks to me personally about their disagreements, I ask God to point out to me any truth they may contain. People are certainly correct that I’m very flawed. No one is more aware of this than I am. (When we dialogue, if I see an indication that critics realize they’re also flawed, it gives them credibility.)

I seek to be open-minded, teachable, and open to correction both in my life and writings. That doesn’t mean I’m never defensive, but it does mean I try to recognize and resist defensiveness. I have agreed with many critics and have made a number of changes in my books and articles (and yes, even my life) as a result.

Nevertheless, in some cases, sadly, I’ve found that attempts to explain or dialogue are fruitless. Some people are habitually certain that they are 100% correct in their criticisms and any opinions to the contrary are unthinkable to them. When I attempt to clarify, especially in a public forum but often even in private email exchanges, it just gives them something else to criticize.

So while I truly listen to and value feedback and criticism, I learned long ago there are many critics you can’t please, and shouldn’t try to. Jesus said, “How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?” (John 5:44).

I figure for every inaccurate accusation made against me there’s another accurate one critics don’t even know about. For every person judging me unfairly, there’s another one giving me credit I don’t deserve. God is the Audience of One. We all stand or fall before Him, not each other.

All that I’ve said explains why I love this advice from Scott Sauls about how to receive criticism and respond with grace. There’s a lot of wisdom here. Read More

After reading this article, the words of a Shaker song, "Gentle Words," composed and written by Sister Polly M. Rupe in Peasant Hill, Kentucky in 1867. The video is Kevin Sigfried's arrangement of the song, sung by the Tudor Choir under the direction of Doug Fullington. 

What the dew is to the flower,

Gentle words are to the soul,

and a blessing to the giver,

and so dear to the receiver,

we should never withhold.

What the dew is to the flower,

Gentle words are to the soul,

and a blessing to the giver,

and so dear to the receiver,

we should never withhold.

Gentle words kindly spoken

often soothe the troubled mind,

while links of love are broken

by words that are unkind.

Then O, thou gentle spirit,

my constant guardian be,

"Do to others," be my motto,

"as I'd have them do to me."

What the dew is to the flower,

Gentle words are to the soul,

and a blessing to the giver,

and so dear to the receiver,

we should never withhold.

Gentle words kindly spoken

often soothe the troubled mind,

while links of love are broken

by words that are unkind.

Then O, thou gentle spirit,

my constant guardian be,

"Do to others," be my motto,

"as I'd have them do to me."

Gentle words kindly spoken

often soothe the troubled mind,

while links of love are broken

by words that are unkind.

Then O, thou gentle spirit,

my constant guardian be,

"Do to others," be my motto,

"as I'd have them do to me."