Honeysuckle symbolizes the bonds of love.
When we love others as God would have us love them, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ, we do not insist on our own way or demand it. We do not boss others around and tell them what to do in such a way that they have little or no choice but do what we ask. We do not try to force them to do it. We do not act as if we do not expect and will not accept a refusal from them. We do not bully or intimidate them into doing what we want them to do. We are considerate of their feelings.
We do not try to control the actions or behavior of others. This does not mean that we may not try to influence how they act or the way they behave, but it does limit what we can do. We can seek to persuade them, to encourage them to do or believe something by giving them a good reason to do it or by talking to them and encouraging them to believe it. For example, a pastor may seek to persuade his flock through his preaching, teaching, and spiritual counseling to obey and respect God and to live godlier lives.
We are also limited in what we can encourage others to do or to believe. We are showing godly love, love that honors and respect God when we encourage our fellow Christians to be more loving and forgiving to others and one another and to trust in God’s goodness toward themselves. We, however, are not showing God-honoring, God-respecting love toward them when we encourage them to do something hurtful or unkind to someone. In regard to what we can do and what cannot do, we take our guidance from the character of Jesus and from his teaching and example, and from the teaching of the apostles where their teaching aligns with our Lord’s or is something that he would clearly approve.
But we do not use force to persuade someone to do something that they are unwilling to do. We do not frighten or threaten them in order to persuade them to do something that we want them to do. We do not play to their anxieties, fears, and insecurities.
We do not manipulate others. We do not try to control them to our advantage unfairly or dishonestly. We do not try to influence or control them to our advantage without them knowing it. We do not employ deceit, keeping the truth hidden to get an advantage. We do not use dishonest methods to get something or to make people believe that something is true when it is not. We are honest and truthful.
We do not use the silent treatment, the act of not speaking to someone or speaking to them very little, to show our displeasure with them and to control them, forcing them to do something that they may not want to do or to stop doing something that we want them to stop doing and to punish them if they do not behave the way that we want them to act.
Unless they are a minor or an adult over whom we have guardianship, we do not try to make decisions for others.
We are not selfish, thinking of our own advantage, what we can get out of a particular situation without giving thought to how others might be affected. We do not take advantage of others by treating them badly so we can get something from them, something which benefits us. We do not pursue things that solely benefit us when we could be pursuing things that benefit others as well as us. We do not think only of ourselves, but we also think of others.
Loving others and one another as God would have us love them wll at times likely to go against how we lived our lives before we became a disciple of Jesus. It may go against the way that we are still living our lives.
When we believe in Jesus and become one of his followers, we embark on a new life. We leave behind our old life, our old attitudes, beliefs, and behavior. The transition to this new life is a gradual one, and having taken two steps forward, we may take one step back.
The friends with whom we surround ourselves can be a great help to us in making the changes that lead us to live as a new person in Christ. Or they can serious hinderance.
When we live as new person in Christ, we become a reflection of Jesus. We embody, albeit imperfectly the qualities of his character and his love of God. Loving God, we love others and our brothers and sisters in Christ. His love transforms us. God’s grace and his Holy Spirit work in us to that end.
I am not saying that Christians should not have friends who are not themselves disciples of Jesus. But I am saying that we should carefully assess their influence on us and if they are not helping us make those changes, we may need to balance them with friends who do help us make them. As they see us make the transition to a new person in Jesus, to our better self, they may themselves be encouraged to believe in Jesus and to become one of his followers.
The thing which impressed the ancient Romans the most about the early Christians was their love for one another, as well as the love that they showed for others. It is genuine Christian love where it is expressed, which impresses people in our time.
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