Sexual Behavior Isn’t the Most Important Issue

The most common question I’m asked during a Q&A session on sexuality goes something like this: My friend is transgender (or bisexual, gay, etc.), and I want to know what I can tell her to make her reconsider. I’m sympathetic to this question, and I understand why they are asking. The backstory is usually some variation of the following. When they’ve spoken up to their friend in the past, they’ve been vigorously rebuked for judging other people. To never say anything, however, feels like they’re holding back and not sharing their convictions with someone who is close to them. They don’t know what to do.

There are two faulty assumptions with this question. The first is that this question presumes that the relevant topic to discuss with your transgender friend is their sexuality. Sure, that subject is important, and I’m not saying to avoid it when the subject comes up. I just don’t think that’s always the most pertinent topic to raise. Read More