Hold Hands Tightly But Meet-and-Greet Times Loosely

In a post that went viral over the weekend, Thom Rainer wrote about 10 ways churches can drive away first time guests.

Much of the controversy swirled around the most frequently cited reason visitors decided their first visit to a church would also be their last – they didn’t like the meet and greet time.

I understand why churches incorporate this into their services (every church of which I’ve ever been a member has done this). It provides a moment within the worship service to further remind those in attendance that we gather as a family, which always has room for more.

But I also understand why this can feel make some visitors (and members) feel uncomfortable, particularly introverts like myself. In a follow-up post, Rainer list the reasons people gave for their dislike of the formalized greeting time.

What I cannot understand is the anger that some felt at the very idea people would not feel welcomed by such a greeting time. Read the comments of those two Rainer posts. People are genuinely mad that someone would question the effectiveness of their methodology of welcoming guests.

Does it not seem a bit odd to demand that someone recognize your actions as friendly? Should we not defer to the those we are attempting to befriend and welcome?

This is not about an opposition to biblical fellowship, but rather a discussion about whether these specific attempts to encourage such fellowship actually accomplishes what it sets out to do in every instance.

I do not think all churches in all contexts should immediately end all of their organized times for greeting during a worship service, but I do think churches should evaluate whether those times (and every other extra-biblical element of service) are accomplishing their intended purpose.

If churches find that guests and members enjoy greeting times and find it helpful for encouraging a welcoming attitude and developing fellowship, then by all means, keep it. But ask the questions to see if it is doing that in your context.

It would seem there are two reasons to hold on to the greeting time even if you discover a significant number of visitors and members are not gaining from it what you hoped – you believe their complaints are selfish or you think your traditions are more important. I believe both of those assumptions are, at least partially, mistaken. Read more