Here are some truths about sexual assault, abuse, or harassment—whatever you want to call it—although they may not feel very helpful:
1. The victim tends to feel responsible. Even knowing that the victim tends to feel responsible didn’t help me not feel responsible.
2. The people in authority in our lives usually don’t want to know the truth. The disruption required to act is so high that very often those in authority find themselves paralyzed. The fact is that many of those in authority would be forced to face their own shame and hurt if they were to act.
3. Abusers, authority figures, and victims often adhere to a strict code of silence. Either by coercion or subtle expectation, the pressure to stay quiet is powerful (I feel it even as I write this), and it is harmful. My friend says bad news never gets better with age. Read More
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