Let the Little Children Come to ‘Big Church’

One lesson from COVID-19: Don’t underestimate the model set by worshiping alongside your kids.

Since last year, COVID-19 has asked all of us to adapt in myriad ways. As we begin to emerge from pandemic precautions, the pull to return to normalcy will be strong. Simultaneously, we will assess what we have learned: What practices do we want to maintain? For young Christian families, one pandemic practice in particular promises a huge discipleship yield.

Like other families, the Wilkins turned to jigsaw puzzles to fill our unexpected hours of togetherness. In March 2020, it wasn’t just toilet paper that ran scarce. There was also a shortage of—of all things—1,000-piece puzzles. With puzzle-hoarding running rampant on Amazon, I finally committed to ordering one from a print-on-demand website. When it arrived, it was indeed a 1,000-piece puzzle … but each piece was about the size of a dime. You know what you need in lockdown? More ways to be short-tempered and frustrated.

That being said, one habit I hope our family will preserve post-pandemic is working on (normal-sized) puzzles together. With regard to the continuous puzzle that is discipling our children, COVID-19 delivered a full-sized, clear picture of a key way to do so, through the unexpected means of Sunday services streamed into our living rooms.

For many young families, the coronavirus lockdown was their first time to worship together consistently through all elements of “big church,” rather than follow a common pattern of kids attending children’s programing while adults attend the weekly gathering.

At my own church, as soon as we began streaming services, kids began asking about baptism and the Lord’s Supper at unprecedented rates. Many had never seen them. In living rooms everywhere, children prayed communal prayers, listened to the Word proclaimed, heard testimonies, and joined their voices in song—with their parents.

Like my tiny jigsaw puzzle, these family worship gatherings were not without frustration. Children may have squirmed, consumed copious snacks, or run circles around the living room, but something priceless was happening: Families were living out the words of Psalm 34:3: “Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together” (emphasis added).

Observant parents who might have assumed “My child won’t really get anything out of the service” learned this was, in fact, profoundly not true. Because there is no replacement for children watching their parents model worship. Because children have a right to witness and learn from the ordinances of the church. Because children are not the church of tomorrow; they are the church of today.

I’m a big fan of children’s ministry. I think it’s invaluable. I’m paid by my church to think about it in good ways. But let me be clear: While children’s church is a wonderful supplement to big church, it is a terrible substitute. Read More

I am a strong believer in what is now called "intergenerational worship." In the 1980s it was called "child-inclusive worship" or "all-age worship"--children and adults worshiping together. I stopped attending one church because the church segregated children from adults into their own "children's church." I brought my oldest grandnephew with me to church and we were accustomed to worshiping together. For 15 years I had championed intergenerational worship in my former church and had used my position of leadership in the church to successfully promote the planning of worship, including the hymns, songs, and service music, with attention to the presence of children in the congregation but also the incorporation of children into various age-appropriate roles in the liturgy. We recruited the younger children as servers, the older ones as choristers, lectors and leaders of the Prayers of the People, and whole families as sacristans and gift bearers. We offered a nursery for infants and toddlers but did not discourage parents from keeping infants and toddlers with them during the service. We gave communion to baptized infants and other small children, leaving the final decision to the child's parents.