How to Pastor Women (Without Making Them Uncomfortable)

In the #MeToo era, many pastors live as though God will not hold them accountable for the souls of women in their church.

There are commonly two extreme—and opposite—answers to this question. The first is a pastor who carelessly sees his role to pastor women as no different than men. This pastor thinks the same blunt conversations he has with men in the church can take place with women. This mentality has led to many pastors, including several I have personally known, to lose their marriages and ministries because they foolishly placed themselves in compromising positions with women in their church—in the name of caring for them.

There is, however, another side that is a growing, particularly among younger pastors. It’s the pastor who so fears the foolishness of the first extreme that he completely neglects the pastoral care of women in general in his church. Motivated largely by fear, some pastors deceive themselves in the name of being “above reproach,” God will not still hold them accountable for the souls of female members entrusted to their care.

Because of these two extremes, the first thing to establish is a need for a wise balance. Wise, thoughtful, discerning, and balanced parameters need to be at the heart of every pastor’s approach. Here are four suggestions I have found helpful over the years in avoiding these extremes as I try to care for women in my own church.... Read More