Believe Your Children

If your child tells you that someone has sexually abused them, please believe them.

In almost two decades of women’s ministry I have sat with many wounded women. Without a doubt, the women who are hurting the most are those who were victims of sexual assault and also the victims of disbelief. The scenario is common: they were abused as children or teenagers and when they told their parents, their parents did not believe them.

Disbelieving the victims is common. Because abuse often happens at the hands of a family member, neighbor, or trusted friend, parents cannot—or are unable to bring themselves to—believe their children because they would then have to reorder their perception of the perpetrator and also acknowledge that they may have unknowingly played a role in allowing the abuse to happen.

When the victims of abuse are not believed, untold injury is heaped upon them. Not only are they traumatized by the initial abuse, but the structure upon which they rely for safety and support is knocked out from underneath them. The second crime may be worse than the first. I think it may actually cause greater long-term harm.

So moms and dads, please believe your kids if they whisper any hint to you that something has happened. The chances that your child is telling the truth and that you know who harmed them is very high. Read More