When Talking about Congregants…

A young church planter in a small town was getting his hair cut by a woman he knew. “You’re not like the other pastor whose hair I cut,” she said. He asked what she meant. She quickly replied, “You don’t talk about your congregants negatively.” Apparently, there was a minister who would come in and vent all of his frustrations about different people in his congregation to this woman. Although most pastors are wise enough not to do this, all pastors have known the temptation to speak negatively–even in sophisticatedly subtle ways–about congregants. Instead, pastors must learn to model the sort of loving, discrete, confidential, and wise way of speaking about others–especially the congregants the Lord has committed into their care.

There are many settings in which it may or may not be right to speak about a congregant under your pastoral care. A minister must learn what these are early on in ministry, in order to save himself from the hardships that accompany serious mistakes this area. There is the pastor–congregant setting, the pastor–congregation setting, the pastor–to–pastor setting, the pastor-elder/deacon setting, the pastor–other–congregation setting, and the pastor–internet setting. As we learn to wisely navigate the dynamics of these settings, we will be better equipped to speak wisely and lovingly about congregants. Read More