Don't Give Up on Church or Marriage

OK….so you have been burned in church, or in marriage. Who hasn't been? I mean at least in some significant way. All of us who have been in churches for decades, or married for decades….or even just for a handful of years....we all have a testimony….and I don't just mean a testimony about the good stuff, of which there is plenty….I mean the other stuff too.

Just because you may have had a bad meal last week doesn't mean you have given up on eating, right? So why give up on the needs of your soul, or your need for a soul mate?

Can we talk here? It can get downright messy in the sheep pen….and messy in marriage….but the alternative is at least as challenging and unfulfilling. Any way you slice it, your life on earth is going to have many unfulfilled desires….and so is mine. Such is life on planet earth.

Having said that, I want you know that God cares deeply about your pain….and whatever hurt you have experienced in church, or in marriage….and I am here to tell you….there are plenty of gracious groups of Christians out there in churches where you won't get burned….and there are many Spirit-filled marriages in existence where the joy and sense of completeness far exceeds the pain of conflict and any other distressing times or negative feelings.

You need a renewed vision my friend. You need to believe that God can lift you up out of your past hurts….and disappointment….and heartbreak. People mess up….in marriage, and in churches. There are churches that are legalistic….stay away from them….and there are people who are oppressive….don't date one of them, let alone marry him or her. If you find yourself in a marriage that feels oppressive, your only hope in my opinion is to get strongly connected to a Spirit-filled group of Christians in a church where the love and grace of God fills you to overflowing. How else could you hope to see God heal you, change your spouse, and empower your marriage?

You need a church where people love one another….and pray for one another....and where the Word of God is preached without compromise and also without legalism. There are lots of Christian churches where that is going on all the time. There are also churches where the atmosphere is "heavy" and the relationships are strained. But those are not the only churches out there my friend, even if that is the only experience you have had in church. Open your eyes and look at the fields....there are pockets of healing all over the place....you just need to be well-connected to one of them. Read more

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Dan Dilzell is the pastor of Wellspring Lutheran Church in Papillion, Nebraska. He is a regular contributor to The Christian Post.