Big and Impersonal, Or Small and Pathetic: Are Those My Only Church Options?

Big churches have a reputation for being overly programmed and impersonal. Small Churches have a reputation for being backwards and lazy.

I’ve always fought against those characterizations, believing them to be unfair caricatures. But a recent conversation made me realize that those stereotypes have their foundations in some sad realities.

I was talking with a faithful Christian and regular church attender when he started bending my ear about how hard it was to find a church in the city where he and his family had moved to about a year ago.

“I hate to say it.” he answered me. “but I haven’t found a new church home since we moved here.”

I was surprised. He wasn’t the kind of person to let his faith or church attendance lag.

“Why?”, I asked with genuine concern.

“Well, I go to church almost every Sunday, but finding a church we want to commit to has been harder than I excpected. They’re either really big and impersonal, or small and kinda pathetic. I’m beginning to think those are my only options. I plan to try a few more that people have recommended to me, but I’m not hopeful. If we have to choose, we’ll pick one of the big, impersonal ones. It’s not what we want, but at least it won’t be pathetic.”

Since he used the word pathetic twice, I asked him what he meant by it. He then gave me a short, spine-chilling tour through the minefield of Small Churches he’d visited. Dumpy buildings, smelly facilities, stale singing, boring preaching, legalistic preaching, uneducated preaching, uninspired preaching, unbiblical preaching, out-of-context preaching… I started sensing a theme.

I gave him a couple ideas about how to broaden his search grid to find other church options, but since that conversation I haven’t been able to get him or his predicament out of my mind.

Big and impersonal.

Or small and pathetic.

He’s not a picky or judgmental person at all, so it makes me wonder how many other people are looking for a church and wondering if those are their only two options. Keep reading

See also
The Elements of a Healthy Small Church – And the Hidden Agenda that Can Kill It