Soul Friends

This reflection. like the previous one, is also a repost of a reflection that I posted a year ago on Anglicans Ablaze and my Facebook page. Both contain good advice, not only to others but also to myself. Both may help others better understand my perspective on life. . 

By Robin G. Jordan

I believe that God puts people in our lives for our good. Does that mean everyone that we meet in life’s way has been put there by God for our good. I would be naïve if I made that claim. Some people who we may meet in life’s way can do physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual harm to us. Others, on the other hand, can do good to us. They can help us to avoid harming others and ourselves, They can encourage us to grow in our love of God and our love of others. They can serve as guides and companions on the way, fellow travelers and pilgrims on the road. They can be there for us when we need someone to be there for us. They can be true friends to us. They can be an anamchara, a friend to our soul.

 
The word “anamchara” is Irish. It means “soul friend.” An anamchara is a friend who not only looks out for our physical, psychological, and emotional well-being but also our spiritual-being. Saint Bridgid of Kildare once told a young priest, "...anyone without a soul friend is like a body without a head." It was her way of pointing to his attention the importance of a anamchara to our spiritual well-being.

 
We tend to prefer the company of those who tell us what we want to hear over the company of those who tell us what we need to hear. This is a very human proclivity. With the development of the internet this tendency has increased.

 
If, however, we want to grow spiritually, grow in our love of God and our love of others, grow in holiness, grow in faith, we need to be around people who will encourage our spiritual growth and who will nurture our love of God and our love of others, our pursuit of holiness, our faith. We need to be around people who will be channels of God’s grace to us, God’s holy influence.

 
A solitary flower planted in a bed of weeds will not flourish. The weeds will rob it of the vital nutrients that it needs to grow and to bloom. This may come across as a harsh image, but it expresses a truth that cannot be ignored. Love of God and love of others grows in the midst of love of God and love of others. Holiness grows in the midst of holiness; faith, in the midst of faith.

 
As well as having one or more anamchara looking out for our well-being, we need to be a part of a community of the faithful who endeavor with the help of God’s grace to emulate the life and teaching of Jesus, who undertake with God’s help to love God with every atom of their being, to love their neighbors as themselves, to love those who hate them and wish or try to injure them, to treat others how they themselves to be treated, and love each other with the same kind of love that Jesus loves us; and who seek, God helping, to live lives of holiness and faith. Indeed, such a community can be seen as a community of soul friends to ourselves. In such a community we can experience God’s love in ways that we cannot in the outside world. We can also be God’s love to the world in ways that we cannot be alone.

 
In my lifetime I have had people come alongside me and help me to grow as a disciple of Jesus—like the two women, now with the Lord, who invited me to their prayer group and taught me much about expectant, heart-felt prayer.

 
Some people help us to grow spiritually in unexpected ways. They may offer us a simple word of encourage or even just be there. They may not realize that God is using them as a channel of grace to them and to us. God may put them in our lives as someone to love unconditionally, to love them as they are, love them warts and all. They are the souls that God has given us to love and cherish as God loves us and keep us in his heart.